


If I Should Fall Behind, Wait For Me

by lotspot



Category: Mozart l'Opéra Rock - Mozart/Baguian & Guirao
Genre: hes got that depression, mozart does kinda go through hell lads but not relationship hell, this is kinda poetic and symbolic so shrug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 12:21:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14736884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotspot/pseuds/lotspot
Summary: Mozart and Salieri meet in the summer and everything is warm.Mozart wishes the world would stop spinning so nothing could ever change but he knows it's impossible. A year is a long time.Mozart feels like he's falling behind but Salieri refuses to let go of his hand.





	If I Should Fall Behind, Wait For Me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just throwing my poetic self indulgent crap at you now.  
> how much symbolism can jeff throw in one fic? stay tuned and find out lads.

It’s summer and Mozart is glowing. He looks up from his coffee at Salieri across from him. He can’t stop the face splitting grin when he sees the small content smile that is settled on Salieri’s face. On his boyfriend’s face. _His boyfriend._ Mozart’s heartbeat speeds up just thinking about the word. He closes his eyes and counts backwards form ten to try and stop himself from hyperventilating.

They've been seeing each other for two months and Mozart feels like he could fly. A strand of hair falls in front of Salieri’s face and Mozart leans over to brush it back behind his ear. His fingers brush Salieri’s cheek and Salieri leans slightly into the touch. Mozart sits back in his chair.

“You are the best thing that happened to me this year.” Mozart says matter-of-factly.

Salieri raises his eyebrows and smirks.

“Is that so?”

Mozart can sense the self-doubt behind Salieri’s calm composure. He lifts Salieri’s palm so it’s against his. He feels electric. He feels like he’s on fire. He’s spent his entire life wondering what love feels like. Every time he thinks he understands it gets crushed under someone’s foot but he understands now. This feels right.

Salieri laces his fingers between his and Mozart presses his lips to their knuckles.

“If I could feed a fire on my love for you it would burn forever.”

Salieri stares at him shocked. Mozart matches his gaze to make sure he understands before he starts giggling. Salieri chuckles lowly and sighs.

“You are ridiculous. You should be more careful about the things you say. A lot can happen in a year.”

“We can do it together though, right?”

Salieri nods slowly. “If that is what you want then I will of course be there.”

Mozart looks out of the window of the café. The sun is shining and everything looks slightly brighter. The grass looks greener, the sky looks bluer. For the first time, Mozart is content to let the world just exist. He doesn’t feel the insatiable need to add to it. In this moment, the world feels like it is completely in equilibrium.

“I want that, Antonio. I really want that.”

 

                                                                                                                 ***

 

It’s autumn when Mozart’s foundations start to crack. He’s walking through town when he feels his phone buzz. He slips his hand from Salieri’s and picks up.

“Dad?”

His father’s voice crackles on the other end of the phone and Mozart cringes slightly.

“Wolfgang. You have been dropped by the record company. Come home at once to discuss your future.”

“But”

His father hangs up before Mozart can reply. He stands in the street completely frozen. He is aware of Salieri saying his name but it feels far away. The oranges and browns of the trees at the edges of his vision start to blur and he realises he’s crying. The thought slams him back into reality.

“I-I don’t. The record company dropped me. My father wants me home immediately.”

Just saying the words out loud makes Mozart want to bolt. He wants to run. He wants to lock himself in a room and never leave. He can feel his breath quickening but Salieri has his arms pinned to his side.

“I will come with you.”

Mozart tries to focus on Salieri’s face in front of him but he can’t. He can feel the tears dripping down his face and he wants them to stop. They don’t. Salieri shakes him slightly.

“Wolfgang. I will go with you.”

Mozart nods and lets Salieri lead him the rest of the way home.

 

Mozart doesn’t really remember packing or leaving his apartment. He doesn’t remember the train journey or the walk from the station. The only thing he is aware of is Salieri’s hand in his and his father’s front door looming down over him.

He hears the door unlock from the inside and, on autopilot, he drops Salieri’s hand. The door opens and Mozart immediately changes his mind and pulls Salieri closer to him.

Mozart stares at his father’s feet.

“Oh you brought a friend. Come in.”

Mozart looks up just in time to see Leopold’s eyes fall disapprovingly on Salieri and Mozart’s intertwined hands. Salieri takes the first steps, gently tugging Mozart with him.

Mozart sees his sister sitting at the piano in the living room as he follows Leopold. They lock eyes for a second and she blows him a kiss. He catches it and places his hand over his chest. Mozart’s heart aches to run towards her and be wrapped in her warm arms but his father’s pace is relentless and there’s no time. There’s business to attend to.

 

The meeting is all white knuckles and angry words. Mozart keeps his head up but every biting remark from his father sends him spiraling. He grips Salieri’s hand to try and stay on track but he feels like he is being blown like a leaf in the wind. His father is telling him to move city, to take projects he found for him, to sell out. Mozart can feel the weight of his career on his shoulders and it's slowly splintering his bones. Eventually Leopold dismisses him with a wave of his hand. Mozart turns on his heel so fast he yanks Salieri with him in an undignified fashion. Once they are outside the room, Salieri cups Mozart’s face in his and kisses him slowly. Mozart can taste his own tears in the kiss but he doesn’t mind. The weight on his back lifts momentarily.

He leans his forehead against Salieri’s.

“Please don’t leave me right now.” He whispers.

Salieri lets out a choked sob. “I’m not. I won’t.”

Mozart nods and draws back. “I’m going to give my sister a hug and we are going to leave. I refuse to stay in this house.”

Mozart feels a spark in his gut but the house seems to just suck any sign of life from his soul before he gets the chance to name it.

On the walk back to the train station, Mozart kicks at the leaves on the ground. When he gets home he brushes them from his shoes and he can’t help but ask himself if the ones from outside his father’s house are distinguishable from the ones here. He knows they’re not.

 

                                                                                                                     ***

 

It’s winter and Mozart is stagnant. Salieri slips out from under his arms and Mozart groans. He grabs Salieri’s wrist and pulls him back onto the bed.

“Wolfgang I need to go. I have work.”

Mozart looks at him. He lets his eyes trace every corner and bend of Salieri’s face. His heart still flutters when Salieri leans in to kiss him on the nose, even if he does then leave to go to work. Mozart is left in an empty bed. The sheets are too cold and the bed is too big and the room feels like it could swallow him whole.

His phone rings.

The caller ID is his father. He lets it ring.

There’s frost climbing up the small window of the bedroom and Mozart shivers. He looks at his face in the mirror. There is a week’s old eyeliner still chipping around his eyes. His hair is lacks any life at all. He pulls at the long bit nervously when his phone lights up again, this time with a text.

_From: Father_

_Stop ignoring me. Your mother passed away. Your sister is moving away. Get your life sorted._

Mozart feels his whole body go numb as he stares at the ceiling. His mother is gone. His sister is gone. He can’t help but panic that Salieri will be gone. He can’t help but think that’s it’s finally all gone wrong. This is it.

He doesn’t even have the energy to have a panic attack. He just stares at the ceiling as tears stream down his face. He’s still lying there when Salieri gets home. He feels the bed shift as Salieri sits next to him.

His phone screen lights up again. Salieri picks it up. Mozart hears a small gasp before Salieri locks his phone and comes to lie down next to him.

“Wolfgang I’m so sorry.”

It isn’t until Salieri wraps his arms around him, that Mozart realises he’s shaking. Salieri buries his head in the crook of Mozart’s neck and holds him tight.

“I need to write.”

“No, Wolfgang, you need to eat.”

“No. No I need to write right now. I can’t. I have to.”

Mozart pulls himself away from Salieri and staggers to his desk. There is music swelling in his ears. It’s pounding at the inside of his head, just asking to be freed.

He scribbles it down as fast as he can. He stares at his page when it’s finished. The pencil drops from his hand and he staggers back towards the bed. Salieri catches him in his arms as he tumbles back into the sheets. Mozart places his head on Salieri’s chest. He hones in on the steady beat of Salieri’s heart and tries to breath in time. He feels Salieri talk before he really registers what he’s saying.

“The snowdrops are coming out if you want to go for a walk some time. You always liked them. It seems like a small thing now but I don’t know what else to do for you.”

Salieri cards his hand through Mozart’s hair. Mozart is acutely aware that it must feel gross because he can’t remember the last time he took a shower but he doesn’t want Salieri to stop so he says nothing about it.

“Also there’s an open mic tonight at the pub across town. I know today has been a lot but I think you might be able to cope better if you do this. We can walk there together and if you don’t want to perform, we can just watch.”

Mozart stays very still. He hasn’t performed in weeks. It may have been months, actually, but time has felt like a blur for a while now. Slowly he nodded.

“Ok.”

“Ok?” Salieri’s voice is laced with relief.

Mozart pulls himself up out of bed. “I will have to take a shower though.”

Salieri chuckles. It is the warmest sound Mozart had heard in weeks and he feels a jolt of energy shoot through him. Maybe he can do this. Maybe together they can pull through this. As he steps under the warm water of the shower he has Salieri and snowdrops on his mind.

 

                                                                                                             ***

 

It is spring and Mozart is healing. He is working gigs and has a few pupils. He starts to hear his name floating on the breeze and in the music circuit. It’s not the career his father wanted for him but Mozart doesn’t care. This is his career and he’s just taking a different path. The days get longer warmer and Mozart starts to smile more. He feels warmth returning to his soul one tiny fragment at a time, but time is something he has so he doesn’t worry.

He brushes some blossom petals from his hair and groans as they float down into the glass of orange juice in his hand. He fishes them out much to the amusement of Salieri. They are sitting in a park with a picnic enjoying the soft sun. Mozart giggled and watches petals float down and settle in Salieri’s hair. He realises Salieri is speaking to him but he gets distracted by the way the light dances on Salieri’s face as his mouth moves and the way his eye’s crinkle when he smiles. Mozart had forgotten how soft their love could feel when it wasn’t tainted by frost.

“I don’t know if I ever said this but thank you for staying.”

Salieri puts his drink down and nods.

“I knew. “

“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get to hear it.”

Salieri looks down at his hands.

Mozart moves around the picnic so he can lay his head on Salieri’s thighs.

“You are the best thing about this year. Actually scratch that, you might be the only good thing about this year.”

Salieri sighs. “You keep saying that.”

Mozart reaches his hand up and pulls one of the strands of hair that had fallen from Salieri’s ponytail.

“And I will stop saying it when it stops being true!”

Salieri rolls his eyes but the grin that breaks across his face is genuine and true. There is a moment of silence as Salieri looks down at Mozart.

“I think you might be the best thing that happened to me this year too.” He whispered.

Mozart sits up.

The kiss that follows is soft. It is a kiss of understanding and of mutual calm. There’s a symphony in this kiss that Mozart lets flow over him. It isn’t the kind of music that beats at his skull, angrily demanding to be written. This is the kind of music that is ingrained in every fibre of their being. Mozart knows that the world spins cruelly on at an unrelenting pace, but he’s discovered that sometimes they can stop time.

Salieri pulls away and wraps his arms around Mozart, pulling him into a hug. This is safety. This is home. This is love.

The universe is at rest and Mozart is glowing.

**Author's Note:**

> Leopold Mozart Get Bent Club.
> 
> leave a comment if you want x I hope this didn't hurt anyone quite as much as it hurt to write it.....


End file.
